Good Friday

A day spent in somber awestruck gratefulness.

God,
Thank you so much for sending your son.
It is such an honor to be loved by someone so much they would and did die for me.
Amen

Silent While Talking

So, what is it about a mom's voice that seems to go unheard?  No, I am not talking about anything political, nothing that big at all.   I am talking about simple everyday, mom is talking and no one responds kinda thing.

Yesterday, had many of those moments, when I know very well that I audibly spoke things.  Yet at the days close, many in the room argued the fact.

And today after rising many hours ago and reminding ever so many time that school started an hour ago.  I sit in the schoolroom alone . . .

I try so hard not to be the nagging mom who always has something bad to say, another problem to take care of, another task to accomplish. . . but when my words fall of deaf ears, I am left with no choice, but to repeat myself time and time again right?

Think I am gonna try something different today.   No nagging, no repeating, just simple calm instruction.  I read a cute saying on pineterest - speak in a low whisper, it more intimidating.

Dear God,
I have to believe that you gave me voice because I have important things to say.
Help me to know when to say those and when to shut up.
Allow my voice to have an audience.
Allow it to be a voice of encouragement, support, and guidance.
Don't let me fall into the trap of having a voice that everyone tunes out, because it has nothing to say worth hearing.

"May the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be pleasing and acceptable unto you, Oh Lord, my rock and my redeemer"

Amen

PS.  Lord, feel free to give a good hearing test, just to make sure they still know how to listen :)

The Waiter

Well, I used to think I was a great waiter.  No not the person who takes your order, refreshes your drinks, and gets a great tip at the end of the night.  I mean the person who sits, watches, and embraces each moment that is passing in no hurry to get to the next moment.

Well, if you are know me and are already laughing, stop it. . . since you didn't tell me or I didn't listen when you did.  I have learned all on my own that I am a horrible waiter.

Six months now I have been waiting for the next step in our life to unfold.  Something that I thought would take a couple of weeks, has now morphed into six longs months with no end in site.

I look back at those six months and become so frustrated. . . I never once stopped and embraced the moment (well maybe once or twice) but over all I flopped.  I put my life on auto pilot and coasted through six month of my life.

Six month of memories, six months of devotions, six months of moments that make life sweet and enjoyable all just pushed to the back burner, because that day might be the day that it would all end.  That day might be the day the waiting would be over.

I can't go back.  The past is the past, but as I sit here and think about tomorrow.  I want my thoughts to focus on the little things of the day.  The memories, the teachable moments, the laughs, the quiet time in God's arms. . .not the anxious thought that tomorrow could be the end of the waiting.

Dear Lord,
I am not praying for patience!!!!
But I am praying that I learn to be a great waiter.
And if you want to include tips - that would be great :)
Amen

Hiatus

Well,  I took some time-off on the blog.  It seemed like everyone had a blog and no one really had anything to say.  But I realized in my time off - I didn't blog for you, I blogged for me.  It was my way of expressing myself, yet always knowing the world was there to check me.  God created me to be expressive and when I am limited in that, I become cranky.  So, to ease the crankiness that keeps rising up within me, I am going to try to continue this adventure.  Not real sure where it will lead me.  But hopefully it will allow for a tiny spec of sanity in this unbelievably insane world I have created for myself.